This is being published today, Monday, because yesterday I vowed to conquer Mass Effect 3, which I did expertly. What’s all the controversy around the ending? There were some leaps in logic but when hasn’t there been in any of the ME games? Plus, Mike Still sent me this video, which pretty much details how it’s actually the greatest ending a trilogy could ever have.
But, all that’s neither here nor there because now, right now, we’re talking about sweet ass tunes. No more hot jams from The Rappists, mainly because there are no more. We only made two songs and then success tore the group apart. Tragic. But I have had, and will continue to have, a blossoming solo career. Check out this song about a guy called Chris. It’s, you know, about Chris. And it features me arguing with myself about the lyrics, which for your information rarely rhyme. I wouldn’t call it funny, nor is it particularly pleasant to hear. There are notes in the song, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not so much “on key”.
Some of these lil’ gems I have genuinely forgotten about. This is another one from The Rappists (Andy Carey, Ross Bryant, myself, with DJ Descoteux on the blips and bloops), which I now just realized I spelled as “The Rapists” on that last post which was very unintentionally hard core. Rap. Rappist. The Rappists. See, that’s much better. My apologies to all for the blunder.
This song is about dicks. Or dix. Or Dixxx. It’s for if you’re about to get very weird and intimately strange with a woman. Or, if it’s you and four other guys just cruising the main street of your small town in your mom’s Honda Civic — moving super slow motion. Or, it could be the song to a music video that just features footage of dicks. Hard, flaccid, stationary, moving around…whatever. If there’s anyone out there that wants to make that music video I think that would be hilarious. I’m not scared of a bucketload of penis, man. I go to spas and I get naked around fellow men and it’s nothing but absolute chill. Either way, pump up the bass and crump (or clown, if you’re old school) the ever-lovin’ shnizz out of this hot new/old single. Wait for the end because it’ll be in your head all day, son.
Next week we will go back to non-dick-related music…maybe.
I’m going to try and make it a habit that on Sunday I post some more songs. At least until they run out. Perhaps then I will have the motivation needed to make more. This one is a real sweet jam made by a group known as The Rappists (Andy Carey, Ross Bryant, myself, with DJ Descoteux on the blips and bloops). The song is called Pizza Party and this shit is off the fucking chain, y’all. Shit’s about pizza and it’s legit. It’s meant to inspire you to discover the wonderful world of cheese and crust and living your life to the maximum. It’s smooth as silk and as sweet as milk. No pussies, no h8rs.